I wish fish could express gratitude. While cleaning Katsumoto's tank today (Katsumoto is my Crowntail Beta) I realized just how lucky that little guy really is. Most people would have sent their fish down the "porcelain pipeline" if they saw it swimming around the tank on its side, bumping into things and missing its food completely at every attempt. I on the other hand felt sorry for the little fella and immediately started researching the problem. After swapping out his normal little fish nuggets for the special little fish nuggets, purchasing 12 dollars worth of "special fish medicine", and following the pet shop "fish expert's" extremely vague instructions for 2 straight weeks, he finally started to swim upright, avoid the few obstacles in his tank, and actually get those little friggin nuggets into his mouth. All that for a 2 dollar fish...

I'm going to assume that fanning your gills repeatedly means: "Thank you for not flushing me."

You're welcome little buddy

Hi8

I found my box of old 8mm tapes today (that was the predecessor to mini dv, dvd and hard drive camcorders for you young'ns out there...let me know if you need a picture). As I watched my feeble attempts at documenting my life's memories (none of the big important events of course, just random acts of stupidity), I really wish I would have taken a different approach to filming. I wish I would have been more of a nature documentalist filming a lion in the wild from a few feet away. Quiet, observant, being very careful to capture the footage without interfering in any way. Instead I seemed to be more like a member of the paparazzi, shoving the camcorder in peoples faces and trying in vain to be funny without looking like a complete putz. Had I the time or means to edit myself out of the 10 odd tapes (or my voice at the very least), I would in a heartbeat.

Nonetheless, I found myself laughing quite a bit today. The videos may be incriminating, but I'm just glad the camera was rolling

welcome back boys

They're back. Finally, after a 14 year hiatus the calluses on the fingertips of my left hand have reappeared...and I couldnt' be more elated. Admittedly it does seem a bit unusual to be excited over something that most normal people would consider an annoyance or a "blemish." Something that should be immediately picked/filed off and treated with incessant applications of hand lotion (preferrably something that doesn't smell like a field of pansies....which could cause people to confuse me with one) until the smooth "normal" skin underneath has resurfaced. To a musician however (or aspiring musician in my case) those patches of hardened skin are something to take pride in. They indicate that I have been persistently mashing my sensitive fingertips against six cold hard steel strings, ignoring the cries of pain and derisive heckling that they've been shouting back at me...

"Why are you doing this to us? Don't you know how much this hurts?!!! Look at the indentations those freaking strings are leaving in us once you let go! This is not normal!! Are you a masochist or something??? Are you hearing us??? Are you hearing yourself?! You SUCK! Why put yourself through this again? It's not worth it! You couldn't do it when you were 10 and you can't do it now! Just stop now and let us heal!"

Sorry fellas. It's gotta be done. I can already hear myself getting better and after a few more weeks you won't even feel the pain. Once I know what I'm doing and you guys are impervious to those vexatious strings, we'll be making beautiful music together...

...I know, that was a lame pun. Get used to it. It's kinda my thing.

First blog's total word count: 370. If a picture's worth a thousand words, I could have just posted this picture...

...and still had a rather comfortable 630 word cushion. Or if I wanted to more accurately substitute the approximate 370 words of useless babble and forego the cushion...

...but if i was going to do that I would have cropped it better.

What a way to start things off...

Here it is, my first official blog......DANGGIT!!!.....I did it. I told myself I wasn't going to start my first official blog with a stupid trite cliche that's undoubtedly used by every virgin blogger on their maiden voyage. I was hoping to just dive off the platform into my lane and start breast-stroking with the pros. It would have been nice to start off with something clever and witty so that all you veteran bloggers out there would simply think I'm a seasoned professional that decided to branch off and explore some different venues. Instead I've proved to everyone that I'm a noob and completely inept at coming up with an original way of starting things off. But come on, throw me a bone here, you had to have started off that way too right? Maybe there's a reason it's cliche'. If everyone didn't do it, then it wouldn't be cliche' now would it? Well there you go, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

So this is blogging....my thoughts are pouring from my brain, down my arms, and flowing from my fingers while this clever computer program captures them all to send off into cyberspace in a decorative little package so that other people as bored as myself can possibly get some meager helpings of entertainment out of them? I find that hard to believe...but it's just as well. This is probably somewhat beneficial for me in a therapeutic sense. Putting some of my thoughts down in writing may help to organize the chaotic mess of randomness that is pinballing around inside my head on a daily....hourly...even minutely (yeah I know, deal with it) basis. It certainly couldn't make matters worse.

Enough of the inane drivel. At the risk of ending my first blog in another hackneyed manner, I'm going to just let it trail off. No closing. No epilogue. No "this is Jordon, signing off...." I'm just going to stop. True, it may not have a "finished feel" but that's okay. From what I'm told, blogging is an ongoing dialogue, so it shouldn't feel "finished" after the first one. It should feel like there's more to come...and there is