blessed indifference

The dating scene has been a little boring as of late. That's not to say that I haven't had any dates, let's just say that the ladies aren't exactly lining up in droves for a chance to go out with me (not that I'm complaining...I like money). A day or so ago there was an incident that made me realize just how much I've changed over the past couple of years. I'm going to be slightly vague just in case the person I'm referring to spontaneously decides to start reading for pleasure and stumbles upon this blog.

We were at an event and as always I was getting a little goofy and when I say "a little goofy", I do mean a little. Comparitively speaking I only exhibited a mere fraction of the goofiness I have been known to display. Allow me to elaborate: It was warm so I took off my long sleeved shirt and instead of carrying it like a normal person (boring) I tried to come up with a more creative way of taking it with me. Option A was to tie it around my waist......gay. Option B was to throw it over one shoulder...tried it, didn't like it. So I jokingly went with the next option and draped both sleeves over my shoulders and tied it in the front in true "Prep Boy" fashion. I then puffed up my chest, turned up my nose and began to saunter and strut in an effort to really sell the act. My companion jokingly acted embarrassed, told me to take it off and tried to fall back so as not to be seen with me. Well I wasn't going to let her get out of becoming a public spectacle that easily so I walked over and put my arm around her so that everyone would know that she was with the idiot. As would be expected, she laughed and ducked out from under my arm to run a few steps away and once again told me to stop. I continued my strut unhindered by her protests.

Long story short, her laughter and lighthearted protests weren't exactly genuine. Turns out she was legitimately embarrased and informed me later on that evening that I'm a little "too goofy" sometimes. She went on to clarify that she wasn't trying to change me, it just made me seem "immature". After all, she's dated guys that were goofy before, but never anyone quite as goofy as me, so I might want to turn it down a little bit so I don't make myself look immature. Oh boy, here it comes...

*deep breath*

....Okaaaaaaay...I hear ya...and all I gotta say in response is:

*raspberries*

(I really did give her raspberries...how's that for immaturity?)

Yep, that's it. Right then and there I realized I had changed. In the past, a statement such as that would have cut deep. I would have taken it to heart and beat myself up about it for the rest of the evening and possibly even the rest of the week. I would have made every possible conscious effort to throttle back on my silliness and try to be more "mature". I would have apologized and said "...you're right, I'll work on that". Not this time folks. No siree. My immediate reaction was actually a stifled laughter and a hearty helping of indifference. If she only knew how far down the list that particular incident was on the Jordon Silliness Scale. She's lucky I didn't take off my shirt, tie it around my head and start swinging from the nearest tree branch. I mean honestly, wearing my shirt over my shoulders is too goofy? You aint seen nothin' yet toots.

I did apologize to her, however I didn't apologize for embarrassing her or for acting "immature" but instead I very sarcastically told her that I was sorry I wasn't like her stuck-up friends and former boyfriends and that I wasn't afraid to be myself and have a good time. I rather bluntly told her that if you didn't like the goofy Jordon then say goodbye because that's the one you're going to see most of the time. I've already done the whole change bit and it only ends up making things worse in the long run, so from now on I'm going to be myself and if you don't like it...lump it.

In closing, I'd like to add these very fitting lyrics from the 1980 Popeye movie with Robin Williams...

I yam what I yam and I yam what I yam that I yam
And I got a lotta muscle and I only gots one eye
And I'll never hurt nobodys and I'll never tell a lie
Top to me bottom and me bottom to me top
That's the way it is 'til the day that I drop, what am I?
I yam what I yam.

Couldn't be more fitting...except of course for the part about only having one eye.